Finally a post that lives up to my blog's name.
Here are some things I hate. Genuine, forceful, put-a-fist-through-your-face hatred. Let's start at the top.
#1--Americans Who Irrationally Hate Proper Football
There are a lot of these. Too many. And I don't know how to cure it, except to place some severe restrictions on every stupid comment thread, every stupid hour of stupid Glenn Beck, and every stupid SportsCenter analyst suggesting that World Cup would be a lot better if it featured LeBron. Gah. What you idiots find boring, the rest of the world worships. Every other country, from Algeria to Zimbabwe, follows the global soccer scene to a large degree. The world has centered around a pulse-pounding, universally popular, highly energized sport of constant excitement, yet stupid idiots around America keep skipping their Ritalin and complaining that football is "boring." Because there's always something going on? Because American Football takes 4 hours to play an hour long match? Because a sport featuring a cast of characters from across the globe is too unAmerican for your tastes? Time to open your eyes, America. The Beautiful Game is more readily accessible than ever. Don't be jealous that you didn't think of it first. Instead, embrace it for what it is; a masterwork of sport and a glorious example of international competition. It's that or die. Your call.
#2--Bad Drivers
This one has been beaten to death, so I'll cut to the chase. Most people do just fine. But there are characters who think that they're the Stig and thus can drive however the pfargtl they want. I was almost in an accident today because an idiotic North Logan woman believed that her SUV could certainly cross an intersection before I got there! After all, she had a stop sign and I didn't! That would certainly entitle her to give it a go! Right-of-way be darned! I ended up skidding to a halt off the road in an attempt to avoid her. Well done, Speed Racer. You did it. Note to all: if you're going to drive, drive well. If you're going to ride in a car with a bad driver, tell them to get better or give you the wheel. If you think I'm wrong about this, slit your tires, stick a potato in your tailpipe, leave your crappy car in the garage, and save us all some trouble.
#3--Double Standards
You probably know my feelings about 'Twilight,' so I'll cut to the chase with this one. Why is it okay for teen girls and older women to worship impossible male stereotypes, but unhealthy for young and older men to admire supermodels? Women can cry about photoshop and unfair body images all they want, but when the lights dim in the theater for the latest 'Twilight' film, many of the same women shriek for Edward and Jacob to take their shirts off. I see a double standard here. I'm not defending the public display of supermodels. Rather, I'm saying that we ban the lot. Get rid of Megan Fox and Edward Cullen. Please. Make it easier for the rest of us.
#4--Music Exploitation
What happened to people getting by on genuine talent? Since the birth of American Idol, it seems to me that music is no longer about creativity, genius, or emotion. Instead, we're given idiots like Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber who sell CD's because deluded tweens saw them on the Disney Channel or on YouTube and shrieked their names, thinking they were witnessing actual talent. Shaddap. For a band to truly be successful in this wasteland of poor taste, they have to sell out (at least partially) to the masses. Muse emerges from the beautiful obscurity of cult heroism to the sinister void of mass popularity with the inclusion of "Supermassive Black Hole" on the soundtrack of "Twilight." The Beatles are suddenly everywhere again--but not because people are rediscovering the greatest band of all time. Of course not! No, they get re-popularized through showing up on every teenager's t-shirt and backpack. Can the bearers of these icons name even two of the Beatles? Nope. My solution? Kill the Disney Channel. Stop catering to the pre-teens. Don't take the suggestions of kids with no taste as to what to publish. Let Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers and whatever other crap the kids are listening to do something great before portraying them as such. Recognize genuine talent, like Pomplamoose or The Rifles before buying the latest tween garbage on iTunes. In short, bring back music, not this idiotic excuse for it.
If you've made it this far, I'm sorry you have nothing better to do.
Also, kudos to my new hobby; throwing worms to robins. It's like throwing bread crumbs or seeds to birds, except this is exciting!
